Tuesday, August 5, 2008

"Oh, Well"

Over the past few weeks as the conversation with various people turned to what I will be doing in retirement, a certain expression seemed to be a pattern in response. As I explain that I have decided to teach math in a Christian school for two years in the Dominican Republic, the person will usually pause for a second while a look of amazement forms on his or her face, and then I hear, “Oh, what an adventure!” As I thought about this I have to agree. This Santiago Target, as I’ve affectionately referred to it over the past year as it slowly turned from a dream to reality, is at the very least an adventure. But I am wondering if I am really up to an adventure at this time in my life.

Adventure is well and good if one is adventuresome … and maybe a little younger. But when we are empty-nesters with more experience than we have energy, I am wondering if this is a wise move on our part. So, true to any major decision, I am having my moments of doubt. One time when I was in college I wanted to go to a Christian training camp in Washington DC. Having little money I decided to travel across the country in a tiny excuse for a car called a TR-10. Over my parents attempt at questioning the wisdom of this “adventure” I took off with the sign “WASHINGTON DC OR BUST” on the trunk. Before the trip was over I “busted” and in the process learned that not all adventures turn out well, if you know what I mean. It was a miracle that I made it to the camp and I had to admit that I made a foolish decision.

So, is this Santiago Target truly an adventure? Or is it another foolish decision? This brings up a lot to discuss, I’m sure, about how a person knows God’s leading, and how he can teach us growing-up lessons even when we make bad choices, but needless to say, I am pondering the ramifications of my Santiago adventure.

At any rate, it is a little late to change my mind. Right now I am on a train heading to Indianapolis to make the connection for a flight to the Dominican Republic. And I must say that whatever category this decision falls under, God has been very faithful to my wife and me as we have prepared for this trip this summer. We are not particularly “adventuresome” people, so this is quite an undertaking for us. The biggest lesson we’ve learned so far is what we have called the “Oh, well” lesson.

Both of us fall under the category of “Monkish”. If you have seen the television series Monk you will know what I mean. He is a character with many neuroses such as wanting things to come out evenly and wanting to have control of his environment and being very organized. When two people like us make a decision which registers amazement on people’s faces and falls under the category of “an adventure”, you can predict the consequences … worry, frustration, panic, overwhelmness, etc. We knew this would happen, so early on we committed ourselves to approaching this experience as a chance to learn faith in God in the small areas. So rather than looking at this as an adventure to accomplish, we wanted to see it as a opportunity to “do it right” along the way. Therefore, we had to learn the phrase “Oh, well” and have had to use it liberally.

When my wife discovered that she forgot the clothes that she set aside specifically for the train trip, we said, “Oh, well”. When they told us we were too late to have the last meal we would have for the next 12 hours on the train, we said, “Oh, well.” In other words, when things threaten to be a disappointment, we are holding each other accountable to have a lighter attitude and spend more time trusting God even when it is our own fault.

This summer was used to get ready to go to the DR. Everyday has been a blur of accomplishing projects from a check-off list with plentiful opportunities to learn the lesson of faith called “Oh, well”. It is similar to a wedding, we figured. Whether or not we are perfectly ready, it will happen. So our goal was to be as ready as we could by the date of departure … August 1st. We were admittedly pressured as any couple would have been but we learned two things during this time:

1) Most of the problems and pressure we faced had to do with our possessions, particularly our home which we own. Our prayer, of course, was that God would have it rented early so we would breathe a sigh of relief and know how to plan. But, as is sometimes typical of a God who cares more about our sanctification and growth in faith than whether our house rented, He waited until the last minute. But the couple who rented from us has excellent references and seems to be exactly what we need.

2) We need the body of Christ. A friend of ours has parents who live at Sandpoint … the embarkation point of the train that we were supposed to take. And, true to God’s grace, this friend and her family were leaving for Sandpoint for a family vacation this same weekend. So she simply rode up with us a day earlier than her family was to show up and then was able to drive us to the train station at 2:30 in the morning. And, yes, she stayed up with us and waited the whole time until we boarded the train. She is a true friend indeed. She will then drive our car back toward Moscow in a couple of days when her vacation is over and drop it off at Potlatch and ride the rest of the way to Moscow with her family. Our car sprung a leak in the manifold in the last few weeks and my pastor, who is also a mechanic, will fix it and then store the car for the next two years. Another friend agreed to be our property manager so he will be taking care of our house while we are gone. Two days before we left, some families came over a couple of times to move furniture and clean the house. And then my men’s Bible study group along with their wives invaded our empty living room with some ice cream one night and spent part of an evening helping us to move some more furniture. As we look back on this we realized that we are truly blessed by the friends we have and honestly couldn’t have done this without their help. And I suppose this is a strand that will be woven throughout the fabric of these next two years.

Right now we are on the last leg of a very long but enjoyable Amtrak train trip. The train that we rode from Sandpoint, Idaho to Chicago was called the Empire Builder. It must have had 20 cars on it. Some of them, like the one we were on, were called “sleepers” and then there were the coach cars which resemble a bus or maybe a roomy airplane. Once the train was moving we had access to every car if we wanted which also included the dining car and an observatory car which they called a lounge. It had windows in the ceiling also and so as a result you could get quite a panoramic view of the sights which in some cases was spectacular.

Since we had a sleeper we were able to eat at the dining car any time we wanted and have anything we wanted as part of the fare (except alcohol which suited us just fine). The interesting thing about this is we didn’t realize until the end of the first day that we could eat for free. We had brought a bag of food which Paula, another generous friend, had given us to carry on the train packed with a variety of delectable goodies to keep us fed and happy, but while we were waiting at Donna’s parents’ guest house in Sandpoint for the train to come, we decided to repack so we wouldn’t have so much weight to lug around. So we gave about half the food to Donna for her family who was coming up the next day. Now that we were on the train we began to wonder how we were going to survive for 36 hours on this small amount of food. The menu on the train was wonderful but it cost $21 for a steak, for instance, and we knew we couldn’t eat very much at those prices. When we discovered that we could have as much as we wanted we felt pretty stupid. So the rest of the trip we ate like kings and queens and still had our friend’s food for snacks and our 6 hour trip from Chicago to Indianapolis.

To tell the truth, this has been very enjoyable and we would like to do it again someday now that we know how it works. It takes a long time … sort of like driving … but we can stand and walk around and the seats are very roomy. The sleeper room was small but adequate. The two seats were facing each other and situated next to a large window. We could read or talk in privacy whenever we wanted. Then at night the two seats collapsed flat toward each other and created a camper-sized twin bed, another bed dropped down from the ceiling creating another bed and, bingo, we were set up for the night. One bathroom was shared by our car of a half dozen people plus a shower. In fact, I couldn’t go very long before I would think of the Alfred Hitchcock movie “North by Northwest”. Remember that movie with Cary Grant on the train and his adventure at Mount Rushmore?

In Chicago we changed trains. These words are being “penned” while we are on a different Amtrak train on our way to Indianapolis. We are on “coach class” now which isn’t as fancy but the trip is only about 6 hours.

The schedule for the beginning of this Santiago adventure was emailed a couple of days ago and I know that once I get off the train in another hour or so, I won’t be able to turn around without squeaking because of the tight schedule. One week will be spent in a town near Indianapolis called Marion while they orient us new teachers to the new culture we are going to, and then another week in meetings once we arrive at the school in Santiago plus setting up our almost empty apartment. Then school starts on Aug 19th. So the next post in this blog may be a few weeks in coming.

When we arrived at the Chicago Union Train station, a pretty overwhelming place for a couple of country hicks, we stood on the dark, narrow train platform next to the train wondering what we were going to do with two backpacks, a bag of food, and four huge suitcases. A jovial, older black man with a red cap whisked by driving a small train-type vehicle and stopped to ask if we needed help. We did and he took over from there. For the next hour he showed us where to go, took care of our luggage, and waited to make sure we were on the right train when it didn’t come in on time. His name was Lavelle and I think he was an angel in disguise. I’m not sure how we could have figured this all our without him.

While I was in my sleeper room yesterday God spoke to me with the truth from a couple of verses from my daily reading.

For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble and to revive the heart of the contrite ones. Isa 57:15

Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear: But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear. Isa 59:1,2

God wants to revive us and give us the peace and joy of knowing and trusting him in all situations, but He can only do that with a humble heart. It is not God’s fault that we are separated from his holiness. What gets in the way is our sin and pride and ignorance and fear. It was like our situation with food on the train. Here we were worrying about how we were going to be fed with the smaller amount that we chose to bring with us, and all the while there was an infinite supply of gourmet food available simply because we were on the right train with the right ticket. I wonder if we don’t do that a lot in our walk with God.

This was meaningful to me as I thought about this “adventure” that we are beginning right now. I honestly want to walk with God and trust Him these next two years and not let it simply be an excuse to accomplish some personal goals. I want to work for the Kingdom while I am able in a physical way. And, to tell you the truth, I don’t feel very adequate right now as I am bumping along the last few miles on this train. I hope this is not just one of these wild and foolish decisions I’ve been known to make in my youth. I want this to be truly an adventure and to simply say “Oh, well” when things don’t turn out the way I think they should, and look to God to supply my needs in His way.

1 comment:

Paula B. said...

James and Carol,
what valuable lessons - certainly applicable to MY life too!

Thank you for sharing so candidly of the doubts and questions and struggles along the way. But what I appreciate more is your commitment to continually look to the only true source of supply and provision for every need and every situation encountered.

Everyone faces doubts and questions. David demonstrated this often:
Oh my soul why are you grieving? Why disquieted in me?

But he always was brought around to trust...

Hope in God, my faith retrieving, He will still my refuge be.

(I am using the verses of Psalm 42 set to music, as that is what sticks in my brain, in case you don't recognize the translation.)

Many blessings on you both as the adventure unfolds!